When Osada Steve was asked in an interview in 2009 about the difference between Japanese Shibari and Western bondage, he focused his answer on the cultural difference it makes for a Western viewer to see a person tied with rope in front of a Japanese viewer. The rope is an element that is and has been present in Japanese culture for millennia; images of people tied with ropes are part of the collective subconscious, giving it a different meaning than what a Western observer understands. This is so important that even Nureki Chimuo refused to perform in front of people who did not understand Shibari and preferred to kick out from his show anyone who did not understand it.

But then, what is Shibari? It is difficult for Western eyes to understand, but it can be attempted if the Western grid mind abstracts. The starting point has to be to eliminate all prejudice and start from the idea that, most of the times, what is being experienced within Shibari is just the opposite of what an agnostic observer perceives. The most common thought when we see photos of Shibari is to directly associate it with our bondage, just as happened to the American soldiers who exchanged sadomasochistic erotic magazines with Japanese soldiers in the Korean War in the 1940s. However, thinking that Shibari is bondage is like thinking that painting Las Meninas or the facade of a building is, after all, spreading paint on a surface. The fact the person is immobilized during the process is a consequence, not the objective, using the ropes to tie is an exercise of domination, control and, of course, communication.

What is Shibari?

This is how the great masters told it and felt it, Yukimura defined it as an emotional exchange between two people, a way of expressing love and emotions using the ropes. Akechi Denki said it's the connection made with rope between the hearts of two people. Chimuo also said that the most important thing is the heart. And it really catches my attention that Osada Steve, when talking about the nine fundamental pillars of Shibari, names concepts such as Tachi-ichi (positioning), Ma-ai (proximity), Sabaku (skill with the rope), Ki (energy) or the Muganawa (emptying of the mind), but it does not even mention immobilization.

Shibari is an art, and we play in its execution with the person's body so the ropes serves to communicate, a communication loaded with emotionality that is different every time, even if the person who ties and the one who is tied are the same. From the moment you make the first eye contact, when you hear the first rope falling to the ground, when you make the first contact with the skin... it all begins, the knots and friction tense the body. and as the rope adapts to the body of the tied person, they will move following the rhythm they feel. The tensions in the rope guide and also limit its movement, its balance, and the structures mean that with very little tension the complete movement can be controlled.

When I tie, I pour myself into the person, I feel I am for them and I feel through them, I feel from the position of assuming control I am at the service of the person I tie, it's a beautiful sensation. Furthermore, with a little skill, it's easy to ensure that its movements are within the limits I define, it remains a few centimeters away and cannot reach a point, it borders on imbalance and it can only be sustained with my support. Sometimes we play with the pain, sometimes there are intense sensations, sometimes the intensity comes from soft moments with deep looks. And all this gives me immense pleasure when I discover that these situations I create are received by the person I'm tying and we flow into their enjoyment.

A person once told me that she enjoyed untying almost more than everything else, and is true untying is also part of the process. It also plays with the person's body when it is untied and releasing tensions and knots can be done in a way that communicates many interesting things. If tying is an act charged with emotions and communication, untying is equally charged with intensity. Everything is important, everything adds up, from the first caress, the first rope sliding across the skin, the first knot, the hugs, the control, the breathing, the movements, the release...

Shibari is art in motion and, as in any artistic expression, we cannot forget the aesthetic part. Because even if we meet all these requirements, not every time we use ropes to communicate we will be creating Shibari. In fact, there are those who say that we should live in Japan for several years and study it closely to consider that what we are doing is Shibari. I don't believe in this requirement, but I do believe in the three rules that WykD Dave talks about: it must be beautiful, it must be effective and it must have a Japanese aesthetic. Much has been written about Japanese aesthetics, and it is difficult to understand, because by seeking perfection one reaches mono no aware, sensitivity in the ephemeral, but in imperfection (in some) one finds wabi-sabi, the beauty of asymmetry, but not everything is right, only what fits into such complex concepts.

I often think what a Japanese person would do when looking at my work, whether they would pull their hair while crying loudly or give their approval. Either way, what is clear is there are things that are not Shibari, or that do not fit with the concept of traditional Shibari, but it is clear that in Shibari we find many concepts, there is communication and care, there is eroticism and sexuality, ropes are used for much more than tying, and Shibari is not bondage, it is something else.